


The Rocket's Red Glare

by rebelmeg



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Movie Night, Avengers Tower, Avengers being awesome emotional support, Birthday Party, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fireworks, Flashbacks, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I laughed so hard writing this, Panic Attacks, Post-Avengers (2012), Screaming Goats, Steve Rogers Has PTSD, Steve Rogers-centric, Team as Family, The Avengers Are Good Bros, This is not as angsty as it looks, Tony Stark Has A Heart, fart jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 06:56:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13497036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelmeg/pseuds/rebelmeg
Summary: Steve was born on the Fourth of July (no joke), so a party is in order!  Unfortunately, PTSD decides to rear its ugly head.  Fortunately, Steve's got an entire team at his back to help him through it.  And screaming goats.





	The Rocket's Red Glare

**Author's Note:**

> I KNOW THIS LOOKS LIKE IT'S GONNA BE ANGSTY. And there's a smidge of angst, yes, because hello PTSD, nice to see you. HOWEVER... the panic attack is only briefly mentioned, and most of the fic is Steve being taken care of and watched out for by his team, who are all good bros. Of course, this takes place in our Golden Age after Avengers when everyone lives at the Tower and they're all family and there are movie nights and parties and it's the best BECAUSE I WILL NOT LET THIS GO.
> 
> The original idea for this came from... maybe a Bland Marvel Headcanon, I can't remember because I didn't save it, like an idiot. But it was about how Steve can't handle fireworks, he has to be able to see at least one of his teammates at all times to get through it.
> 
> If you're concerned about any of the tags, please please drop me a line! Or just drop me a line for literally any reason, I love comments more than life. Or if you spot any grammar or spelling mistakes, let me know about those too because I strive for perfection and typos in my work make my eye twitch.
> 
> AND IN CASE YOU NEEDED TO KNOW WHAT [SCREAMING GOATS](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpccpglnNf0) SOUNDED LIKE!!! (The second one is my favorite!)

Steve found out on his birthday. 

It was also the Fourth of July (neither Clint nor Tony had stopped making jokes about it for the entire week previous), and Tony had been practically dancing with glee as he planned a party. Just the six of them, since Steve didn’t really like a crowd, but Tony was proceeding as if half of New York would be partying in his Tower. 

Steve’s favorite colors happened to be red and blue, which he hadn’t considered lying about until it was too late, so the entire common area had been bedecked with so much patriotic paraphernalia that it was dizzying to look at. (Was there any more bunting left in the entire _state_?)

There were even themed food and drinks, ranging from cheeseburgers (“You can’t celebrate America without a burger in your mouth, Steve.”) to some kind of extremely alcoholic beverage that separated into red, white, and blue layers. (It tasted vaguely like berries and felt like a blowtorch in your throat, Steve only had one and ended up in a coughing fit that strongly reminded him of when he’d had asthma.)

At ten thirty, once Tony had deemed it dark enough, everyone went outside onto the balcony to watch the fireworks display. Tony had been bragging about it for weeks, how it was going to blow all their minds, and the man was beaming like a kid at Christmastime when he told Jarvis to hit it.

Somewhere between the first streaks of sparks and the boom of the explosions following, Steve’s legs wobbled and nearly went out from under him.

By the time the next set of fireworks were heading up, he was hyperventilating.

And when the noise and sparks had faded, he was sitting down with his back against the railing, head between his knees, trying not to throw up. And it had nothing to do with the drink that he could still feel stinging at the back of his throat.

The second Tony had seen him falter, he’d had Jarvis stop the show, and now all of Steve’s teammates were gathered around him, concern on their faces.

“Steve?” Bruce’s voice was even and soft as always. “Steve, you okay?”

“Cap. Hey, Cap. Focus up for just a sec.” Tony’s hand was on his shoulder, and Steve forced himself to lift his head and open his eyes.

Clint and Natasha were having a whispered conversation to one side, and Thor’s expression was one of sadness. Bruce was leaning in close and checking Steve’s eyes and the pulse at his wrist, and Tony’s hand stayed on his shoulder.

“Sorry,” Steve gasped, feeling a cold sweat break out all over him. “I… I don’t know what…”

“He was immersed in a memory of battle,” Thor said quietly, all of their eyes going to him. “I have seen it before.”

Bruce nodded and pressed the inside of his wrist to Steve’s damp forehead. “Flashback?” He asked, meeting Steve’s gaze.

Steve just nodded and closed his eyes again.

“Can I sit?” Natasha asked, tapping gently on his other shoulder. He nodded and felt her sit next to him, not crowding him, just close enough for him to feel her against his shoulder, her crossed knee lightly touching his leg.

It helped, having her on one side and Tony’s hand on his shoulder on the other, Bruce still tracking his pulse. It kept him grounded, kept the suffocating memories he’d been swamped by at bay. The shrieking of the fireworks, the deep bang of the explosions, the faint whiff of smoke on the air… he’d been back in Europe in the war, stepping over bodies and trying to dodge gunfire, unable to help the people that had already been hit.

“You doing better now?” Bruce asked after a few minutes, releasing Steve’s wrist. “Your pulse is back under control and you’ve stopped sweating.”

Steve nodded and opened his eyes again, looking around at his teammates. “I’m good, yeah. Sorry.”

“Steve, why didn’t you tell me?” Tony asked, sounding guilt-ridden, his eyebrows furrowed with worry.

“I didn’t know.” Steve whispered, looking down at his hands. “I’m so sorry.”

Natasha, Clint, and Thor all opened their mouths to speak, but Tony beat them to it.

“Um, Capsicle, no, you do not get to be sorry that you had a PTSD attack because of my stupid fireworks. You do not ever be sorry for that.”

Steve shook his head, fighting back frustration at himself. “I’m sorry I ruined it. They weren’t stupid.” Steve felt a stinging ache behind his eyes and rubbed them impatiently. “I was excited to see them, I know you worked hard on them.”

Tony shook his head. “It’s not a big deal.”

“It was to me. I know I gave you a hard time, but this,” Steve waved his hand around, at all of them and the almost violently decorated interior, “This was awesome.”

Natasha rested her head on his shoulder for a brief moment before getting to her feet and holding out her hand. “Come on, back inside. The party isn’t over unless you want it to be, right?”

She looked down at him expectantly, a smile curving her lips, and Steve found himself smiling back as he took her hand and was hauled to his feet. “Might take a bit to get our groove back, I kind of killed it.”

Tony scoffed, “Hey, if anyone can put a vibe back into a party, I can.” Then he started snickering in a way Steve knew meant he’d missed a dirty joke (another extremely cautious Google search to add to his list). “Come on, we’ll get some music going and I’ll bring out the really good drinks. And the cheese fountain.”

Bruce’s eyebrows went up. “A cheese fountain?”

“You can’t have nachos without a cheese fountain, Brucie bear.”

“Are we counting nachos as American food now?” Natasha asked in a very dry voice, making Clint laugh beside her.

“Jarvis told me rather snippily that no one in their right mind would eat macaroni and cheese if a a cheese fountain was directly involved in the preparation, but I had already bought the fountain so I had to come up with something else, geez, get off my back.” Tony winked at her and headed for the kitchen.

“I would have tried it.” Clint called after him.

“Of course you would have, you're a like a frat boy that swallowed a garbage disposal.”

Thor had picked up another cheeseburger from the food table (probably his eighth or ninth, the boy could eat), and spoke around a mouthful of it. “Macaroni and cheese, we have had that before, yes? The orange pasta?”

“It was not _orange_ , it was a saliva-inducing shade of golden yellow and I swear to your father, Thor, if you don’t stop hating on my Kraft mac and cheese skills, I will find a way to put an arrow in your ass without anyone suspecting me!” Clint threatened.

Steve grinned as they all made their way into the kitchen, the jitters still running under his skin slowly fading as he listened to his team banter and bicker. He picked up another red, white, and blue drink (it was his birthday, after all), and immediately regretted it when the alcohol blazed down his throat and made him gag.

It was a pretty good birthday.

\------------------------------

The next day, Tony had Jarvis queue up what he called a “pre-movie show” when they were all gathered around for movie night, and Steve couldn’t help but notice he was getting side-eyed rather a lot by the guy as the screen switched to a starry night sky.

A computer animated fireworks show started, dazzling on the big HD screen, but with the sounds muted to something artificial.

Steve’s eyes shot to Tony’s, and the guy just smiled. “You said you wanted to see it, yeah? This okay? I programmed the same show as last night.”

Grinning, Steve turned back to the screen. “It’s great.”

“If the sounds don’t work for you, I have an audio file saved that will play screaming goat sounds when they go up and really loud farts when they explode...”

 

It took at least half an hour for them to calm down after Clint insisted they watch at least a few minutes of the fireworks show with Tony’s alternative sounds. Both Clint and Thor were flat on the floor wheezing with laughter by the time the finale ended the second time around (Natasha had shown Thor a music video that subbed in a goat screaming for part of the song and he’d found it _hilarious_ ). Tony was stuck in a giggle fit as he leaned against a chuckling Bruce, Natasha’s shoulders were shaking even as she shook her head, and Steve had tears on his face from laughing so hard.

“Oh hell, Stark, that is the best thing you have ever, ever made. I don’t even care if you make an armor that can go completely invisible, nothing will top that.” Clint rolled over onto his back and slapped both hands over his face, laughter still bursting out of him as he tried to slow his breathing. He threw a handful of popcorn right in Tony’s face when the genius pulled himself together just enough to make a very good impression of a goat screaming that set them all off again.

Bruce’s pick of Jurassic Park was moderately sprinkled with the odd goat scream or residual giggle, especially when Clint managed to goat-scream loud enough to drown out one of the t-rex’s roars. Then Natasha chose a quiet, suspenseful moment to made the most convincing fart noise ever to come from a human mouth, and they had to pause the movie until they calmed down again.

\------------------------------

It didn’t take much effort for Steve to avoid fireworks after that. The rest of the week after his birthday, fireworks were still legal, but he discovered that if he stayed away from the windows, he couldn’t hear or see anything that triggered him back into a panic. It was forgotten, and other than a note in his phone to tread carefully on New Years Eve, he put the incident out of his mind.

It helped that every time Tony or Clint goat-screamed at each other across the communal floor, Steve remembered Natasha making that fart noise, so really, he was calling the entire situation a win.

\--------------------------------

The Avengers got an invite to a benefit dinner and gala that would raise money for a couple different excellent causes, and after a little schedule juggling, they were all able to attend. Tony pledged a donation that would match every penny raised that night, in all of their names, so they had a seat of honor at a table at the head of the outdoor ballroom. Dinner had been served and cleared, the musicians were on a break while dessert was being distributed, and Bruce leaned back in his seat, feeling pretty content given the circumstances. Pepper and Jane Foster had been able to come as Tony and Thor’s dates, and he always enjoyed the different dynamic when they were around. Jane, sitting between him and Thor, had already talked his ear off about a project she was working on that involved gamma radiation, and Pepper had managed to keep Tony busy so the situation didn’t devolve rapidly into a mild science disaster in a very public place. (She had winked when she’d done it, too, Pepper knew precisely how to handle her bronco and wasn’t afraid to use really impressive bedroom eyes to keep Tony from zeroing in on the science-ing that was going on two seats over.)

Something chocolate and decadent had just been placed before him when it happened. The first fireworks were a surprise, and while Bruce was startled, he didn’t jump or spasm when they shrieked into the air behind him. Steve was sitting next to him, and his entire body jerked at that first flash of light and squeal of noise, but he covered it up quickly as he squared his shoulders and clenched his jaw.

Shifting slightly in his seat, Bruce leaned over just enough so that his shoulder was brushing Steve’s. And out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tony’s gaze land on them for a moment before moving away. Acting as if he owned the place, Tony got up from his chair and turned around to sit cross-legged on top of the table, scooting dessert plates out of his way, leaning back on his hands as he appeared to do nothing more than appreciate the fireworks display still popping and booming over their heads.

The corner of Bruce’s mouth tipped in a smile. Tony Stark saw more than anyone ever gave him credit for. Everyone there would comment on his impetuous, disrespectful nature, his carefree attitude, the way he was wrinkling that expensive suit, but Bruce saw the action for what it was. Tony had perched himself up on the table so Steve could see him, so that maybe if the soldier kept his eyes open, he might be able to lock on to someone familiar in his surroundings and not get dragged into a panic attack.

The rest of the team was looking up at the fireworks, Thor with a particularly cheerful expression on his face as Jane held his hand and leaned into him. Clint had stood up to lean a hip on the table, and Natasha was twisted around in her chair on the other side of Steve to look up. Bruce had a suspicion that one of her hands was on Steve’s knee under the table, and wondered if she’d seen Steve’s discomfort or if Tony had somehow directed her attention to it.

Steve’s breathing was deep and measured, as if he was counting breaths, and while his shoulders were tense enough to strain the seams of his dinner jacket, he wasn’t shaking or sweating like he’d done at his birthday party. Bruce kept a close eye on him, watching for signs of Steve starting to lose it, and he almost jumped when a phone skidded across the tablecloth to stop in front of Steve.

There was a paused video on the screen… and the image was of a goat screaming.

Bruce couldn’t help it, a stilted laugh burst out of him, and he looked over to see Clint grinning.

Steve had picked up the phone, and his shoulders started shaking. But not from panic. From laughter.

Quietly, so that Bruce could barely hear it… Natasha stared up at the fireworks with an expression of utter innocence on her face and pursed her lips to make a farting sound.

Steve made a strangled, choking sound, and dropped Clint’s phone in favor of covering his mouth with both hands. His face was red, and he wasn’t quite managing to muffle his laughter, and Bruce found he couldn’t stop either.

Jane shot him a confused look, but Bruce just shook his head and covered his eyes with his hand, helpless. He heard it the moment Thor figured out what was going on, the demigod’s deep chuckle rippling through the air. A minute later, the table started shaking slightly, and Bruce peek out from between his fingers to see Tony put a pair of designer glasses on as he tried to laugh quietly.

Steve was fine by the end of the fireworks display, still chuckling occasionally as he handed the phone back to Clint and smiled appreciatively. They all turned back around to finish their desserts (Tony scooted off the table and nearly took the whole tablecloth with him), and somehow… everything was okay.

\--------------------------

Steve still avoided the fireworks when New Years came around. He figured it wasn’t a good idea to tempt fate, even if the thought of a goat screaming still got him to laugh literally any time he thought of it. On the communal floor as midnight struck, he had his back to the windows, and the faint boom of fireworks outside didn’t bother him one bit. He watched Jane teach Thor about New Years kisses, Tony and Pepper kissed and smiled while they argued about a board meeting through their first two minutes of the new year, and Natasha made the rounds and kissed everyone’s cheek. Bruce was nodding off on the couch with a glass of champagne in his hand and a party hat askew on his head, and Clint wrapped an arm around Natasha’s waist when she finished up with her kisses. Steve looked around at them all and just smiled.

A lot of things were so much easier to bear when you had family around. And the sound of goats screaming.


End file.
